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Wednesday, January 18, 2006 

Conversations with the girlfriend

“Women care nothing for our male logic: They have their own, which we do not recognize and do not acknowledge until we are crushed under its wheel” – paraphrased from the quote by Ivan Turgenev The place - Sunday morning at the breakfast table She: You know my friend, Tanya? Me: Yeah, sure. I met her last Saturday over at your place. She: Do you think she’s hot? Me: Uhhh… maybe… I mean she is not ugly, if that’s what you are asking. She: Would you go out with her? Me: NO! I’m with you! Why would I want to go out with another woman? That would be insane. She: But what if you and I weren’t together… would you go out with her then? Me: I suppose I m-a-y consider it. Anyway, why do you care if I think Tanya is hot? She: So then you admit it, you think she’s hot then? Me I did not say that. Forget what I said. I won’t even consider it. She : Then what are you saying? Me: I am saying I am stupid little man and I should learn to keep my mouth shut. She: Good idea. You are digging yourself into a hole. Me: How’s that even possible? You’re the one who brought it up. She: And you are the one who thinks she’s hot. Me: Did I mention that you are waayyy hotter than she is and that I love you with all my heart? (All I get I in return is a barely audible grunt) Women! When do we ever get to taste victory?

This happens too often! Other key phrases are "what does this look like on me?" and the traditional "do I look fat in this?".

You can't win, say the right thing or back track. A real no win situation!
(My wife always gets me - I *still* haven't learnt.

Best not to respond sometimes I think. ;-)

oh no. no, no, no. it took me ages to learn how this game works.

keeping your mouth shut is worse than trying to give the right answer.

in this case: "she's AMAZING. do you think she'd be interested? i'm totally keen to trade up." drip with sarcasm.

"does this make me look fat?"
it's incredible how effective this is - you don't get asked again.

obviously the way you do is needs to be tailored a bit, and i tend to explain what i'm doing just before doing it. girls fall for that - it's kinda weird. "if you ask me again, i'll say yes. go on - ask me again!"

Q: Is she hot?
A: Not compared to you.

Q: Would you go out with her?
A: Honey if it wasnt for you I'ld be cold and miserible.

Dont tell the girls this, but I have learned if you answer with a " You " directed complimant is seems to work.

Yes, I think Spyder is on the right track here. My own (current, longterm, very longterm) true love once told me in our early courtship that he'd figured out exactly how to make the relationship work. He had to remember only a few phrases, said he: "You are right" "Yes, it is all my fault" and "I'm sorry, what was I thinking?????"
It made me laugh, because he was right about this....of course, he doesn't always remember the magic phrases. I am not slow to remind him. (and our children have all complained at one time or another "hey, you and dad never stop talking to one another"). Nothing like passionate intellectuals for fun...
As for your girl--yeah, it's tough figuring out the secret messages (of course she might be secretly enjoying your confusion).

Kev: I am convinced that in order to in, we need to play this game by different rules.
The "no-response" option does not work; they'll repeat the question and it only makes them think you have something to hide.
TW: Haha... you clearly had lots of practise in this area.
I suspect there is much more to the gf's interrogation. Something sparked it off, but she is not telling.
Spyder: Well worth a try. Directing your answers at her personally does eliminate the need to question your responses.
jarvenpa: Your husband is wise and has you all figured out.
I like a passionate intellectual discussion, but not when the odds are stacked and the bases are loaded.

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