Riding the Slipstream

I was all set to write a post on something incredibly foolish I did on Sunday. I can almost hear you say…”not again”. But then I thought, dammit, just once I’d like to start the week off in a dignified manner (well, at least in blogland). So, I’ll blog about other people and what foolish things they did instead. Grown men should not (be allowed to) get into fights, especially not in daytime and in full view of a group of bored onlookers. It is just unbecoming and they come off looking like pricks, whether they win or lose. And for the love of all things dear, if you are going to fight, get on with it already! Get in there and punch the living shit out of that asshole, and then walk away like they do in the movies!! Screaming at the top of your lungs, throwing accusations back and forth and swearing like a sailor on shore-leave, just make you look like… a girl. When you are a school kid, fights are generally the biggest events of the year. Some snotty-nosed kid shouts, "Fight! There is a fight behind the assembly hall!” and like a swarm of red ants we would rush to the scene, form a circle to watch the drama unfold. Remember those days? Of course, as adults this kind of thing shouldn't happen. It does not quite have the same spectator value. I witnessed a fight on Saturday afternoon. One guy rear-ended the other’s car at a traffic light and before you could say, “love thy neighbour”, the two guys were out of their cars and going at each other like two fat people scrambling for the last doughnut at a Weight-Watchers convention. Man, it was pathetic! I was not aware the word f-u-c-k, or variations thereof, could be used in so many creatively uninspiring ways. Alluring as it was... the flying spittle, bulging eyes and angry red faces made it seem comical and unreal. The whole thing finally ended when one guy finally(!) threw a punch at the other guy. He lost his footing in the process, and ended up sprawled across the bonnet of his car. This act only gave the 2nd guy the courage he needed to tackle him, much to the amusement of the onlookers. The impromptu pantomime came to an abrupt end when the police arrived and pulled them apart. Good luck with that, officers. You are finally earning your salary. I’d lost interest by then, put my car into gear and drove away. No blood and broken bones... where's the fun in that? (Just kidding!) I cranked up the volume on the radio. Ironically, Robbie Williams was singing “No Regrets”. I guess there’d be none of that for those two guys.