Riding the Slipstream

I got stung by a bee this morning and may have lost my superhero status in the process. Judging by the angry red welt in the middle of my chest, my powers weren’t particularly impressive to begin with. A bee got trapped between the curtain and the window. Being the superhero that I am, I thought I’d be helpful and allow the little fellow to escape. Besides the constant buzzing was getting on my last nerve and I did not have a can of insecticide spray handy. So I got up and opened the window on the side panel, hoping that the fresh air would lure him to the outside. Not so! He just kept on flying up and down the window, colliding with it and making that awful buzzing noise. Insects are stupid in that way. I got hold of a piece of paper and tried to shoo him along. A fat lot of good that did me! Instead, the little fellow climbed onto the piece of paper and just sat there. All activity ceased. I reckon he was prolly catching his breath before his next assault on the window pane. Realising that he was clearly not going to do this on his own, I placed the piece of paper in front of the open window. He caught a whiff of the fresh air, rose up on his little legs and launched himself into the air… straight at me. I tried to wave him away with my hands and that’s when it happened. I knocked him out of the sky and he fell down the front of my shirt. (The top two buttons were unbuttoned) The next moment I felt a sharp pain and I instinctively clutched my hands to my chest. In the process I squashed the little bee. All that was left of him was a brownish wet stain on the front of my shirt. I managed get the shirt off and pulled the sting out. There are no medicines in the office, so I ran to the bathroom and splashed water on my chest. It hurt like a bitch! The office receptionist heard all the commotion and came over to help me. I explained that a bee had stung me. She ran over to her workstation, grabbed a bottle of perfume from her purse and sprayed it directly onto the affected area. She explained that the alcohol in the perfume would soothe the pain and disinfect the wound. (I didn’t know that!) What I can tell you, is that it burnt like hellfire! AARRRGGGHH!!! I saw hundreds of bright shiny objects floating around the room. Soon after she rushed to the pharmacy down the road and came back with insect bite ointment and some band aids. I now have a third, rather angry-looking nipple in the middle of my chest. Guess I won’t be showing off my pecs any time soon. Damn that bee. I want my mommy!