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Wednesday, August 02, 2006 

Maestro in the making

FACT: I cannot cook a decent meal if my life depended on it, and I have the scars to prove it. No, really. I mean it. No jokes here. When [S] suggested that we sign up for cooking classes, I thought at first that I may have heard her incorrectly. My response was, “What ever for? I do not belong in a kitchen. Right now I have all the cooking skills I need or should be allowed to have; I can operate a can opener, boil water, scramble eggs and BBQ meat on a Saturday afternoon. For the rest there is Woolies and take out” Not so, I am told. Cooking classes for culinary enthusiasts is the new “in” thing and everyone, it seems, wants to learn to cook up a storm. (They do?) It is kinda like going the gym (oh yeah?). It is the new social trend and more and more people are doing it. It’s all about socializing and feeling good about yourself as you master new skills. Blah, blah, blah… she sounds like an ad in a glossy magazine. Electric shock therapy and a prescription for Lithium seems more preferable. Right from the start there was a flaw in her argument. I am NOT a culinary enthusiast. I prefer to have my food prepared for me by someone else. I am perfectly happy with eating and tasting as long as I do not have to slave away in a kitchen for hours on end. Where is the fun in eating food you prepared yourself? She also said something about there being something sexy about a man who can cook. Awesome. I guess I must be running low on sex appeal then. Damn. Now I come from a long line of culinary idiots. None of the men in my family can cook a proper meal and we are thoroughly content to be kitchen dweebs. The one thing we are good at is providing moral support and conversation to whomever does the cooking. If a “cooking-companion” is what you are looking for, then I’m your guy. I’ll even wash and clean the veggies when I am asked to. When I want to see a guy in the kitchen, I tune into the food channel and watch Jamie Oliver, Bill Granger and other celebrity chefs as they go about their business. What did me in was the look of utter disappointment on her face as I realized how much it would mean to her that we do this together. This was important stuff and not to be taken lightly! I could think of numerous other fun things to do if spending time together was an issue, yet how could I expect her to do what I want and not be willing to do the same for her? Hence, I gave in and let her have her way. I have learned that time, attention and compromise are key ingredients in a relationship and that it is critical to delight the opponent with the edge, i.e. the one who can and will withhold sex. He he. That said, it is not the kind of ploy I think she would utilize. She is not that shallow and manipulative. It does however make for good common sense to ensure it never happens. So… starting this Saturday, and for the next six weeks thereafter, the Chitty will re-kindle his pioneering spirit, don an apron and release the inner outlaw as he boldly goes where few men of his generation has gone before… set foot in the kitchen with the sole purpose of preparing something that is both tasty and edible. Watch me as I learn to chop, de-bone, puree, julienne, sauté, roast, bake and flambé my way into the new century. I hope they have insurance!

Chitty treats!!!

Holding my breath.

The Tart
; )

do indulge us with a picture of you with an apron on! :D btw, you should have known by now that women ALWAYS get their way! mwahahaha!

i know, life is a bitch!

Sounds like an excellent plan (you are wise to give in to her whims!). And who knows, perhaps you will find you enjoy it.
Me, I practically failed home ec (home economics, required of all young girls of my generation: learn to sew, to cook, to be a Good Little Housewife). My teacher had never before met someone who could sabotage chocolate chip cookies.
Now I can cook pretty well, and mostly enjoy it. But there is something very seductive about a guy who can cook, yes there is.

Jarvenpa and I have something in common, giving home ec teachers grey hair. I think mine breathed a sigh of relief when I dropped the stupid subject like a hot potato. Like Jarvenpa, I cook pretty well now too. And I agree with her, there is something very seductive about a man who can cook - Flyboy won finally convinced me he was worthy of my affections with a roast chicken. But having said that I also love a kitchen companion and cooking for a man, especially a bachelor. When they go for seconds of something you thought was a total flop, your heart melts and you glow!

We in Blogland are looking forward to your culinary offerings, Chitty! Hope you have more success with banana custard than I did in high school.

Tart: I don't know edible the treats will be, but they will be entertaining.
Nyasha: An apron and nothing else... that would be a good picture. Lol.
Jarvenpa: I hear ya. So, cooking will kick my sex appeal up a notch or two, you say? Not a bad trade-off.
Katt: I am lucky if I can get the banana into the bowl.
If I make it through this course, I am throwing a huge party to celebrate. Hell, I'll even do the catering.

:) thank you. i learned something new today. now if only i could lose the shame, i could put it into practice :$

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