Just one of those things...
Life is full of litle surprises, innit? Yesterday, while driving home from work, I had the delightful pleasure of being involved in a minor bumper bashing.
As I got off the N3 and prepared to merge with the traffic on the road I wanted to get onto, the guy traveling me behind in a small sedan, who wanted to get into the same lane, “gently” collided with my rear bumper. Fortunately I saw him coming up behind me and I attempted to pick up speed at the same time. He had somehow misjudged my speed or must have felt that he could overtake me at this point. (How polite am I, huh… making excuses for him?)
Anyway, we pulled off onto the emergency lane to inspect our cars and to exchange information.
Damage was minimal and despite my irritation and extreme annoyance, my only goal was to get the formalities over with, get back into my car and go home. I had no fight in me. I did not have the energy to engage in an argument or a heated debate about who had the right of way and who was wrong.
As I got out of the car and proceeded to walk towards him, while writing down my details on my card, the very first thing he said to me when I am within earshot was,
“Didn’t you see me coming?”
WTF? Did I not see him coming… the friggin audacity of this moron! My first thought was to respond with the obvious, “Did you not see me driving in front of you?”
Come on, who does this guy think he is? Perhaps he thought the old “best defense is a strong offense” strategy would work on me. Haha… bloody amateur! To be honest, I actually had no idea what he was thinking. It was obvious that he wanted to blame someone other than himself for what had happened.
He had no idea whom he was dealing with. On a good day I could give him a “snotklap” and shower him with profanities, the likes of which he has yet to experience. But what would be the point?
So I stopped and said to him,
“No I did not see you coming. In fact, I was completely unaware that you were masturbating while driving. I hope the orgasm was worth the damage caused to my car.”
Of course the attempt at humour and the wordplay was completely lost on this insolent sod and he looked at me like I just dropped in from planet Zappit. (That's the small grey planet to the left of the trendy side of Pluto).
I shrugged my shoulders and handed him my card. I told him the he will hear from my insurance company. As he handed me his details, he mumbled something about wanting to talk to me. I waved him away with the back of my hand, got into my car and drove to the nearest police station and reported the accident.
Live to fight another day… isn’t that what life is all about?
