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Friday, November 04, 2005 

How did I get to be so grumpy?

Well, the shit is hitting the fan. My work computer has been rendered completely impotent. I cannot get access to the databases I need to do my work and the internet is just barely working. It crashes every 5 minutes and I am super-duper pissed off because I hate hanging around doing nothing. After logging a call with the IT Helpdesk, I am told a technician from Dell will be in later today to take a look at my machine. It is now 12h30, how much later can he get here? So, since I have some free time on my hands, I'll share with you 3 of my current pet hates.

  • The drunk debaters:Two guys from the office invited me out to drinks after work. While I enjoy their company, I hate the fact that they have heated arguments/debates (take your pick) every time they have too much to drink. These two will debate(argue about) every thing under the bloody sun, from French foreign policy, the war in Iraq to Britney Spear’s ass. While the rest of us are trying to unwind and have a good time, they are off to the side talking about stuff that can only make sense when your blood alcohol level goes above the legal limit. They should just get a room, draw an imaginary line down the middle and beat the crap out of whoever dares to cross it first. Yeah… don’t think I’ll be going with them tonight. Mizz Vodka Martini and I will have to meet up on another night.
  • The whole gay marriage debate: I got drawn into this debate a couple of weeks back and it sucked BIG time. Come on lets be realistic people, does it really matter to me if two gay people get married? And as for "compromising the sanctity of marriage", where have you been the last 50 years? We passed that milestone a long time ago. Getting a divorce and having extra-marital affairs are the favourite pastimes of South Africans. Everybody gets divorced these days, children! Do we get our knickers in a knot when that happens? Do we quote passages from the Bible and have debates in parliament? Of course not! In fact, if you are married and have not contemplated getting divorced yet, you are officially in the minority! Surely all that energy can be directed to do something else, like getting your ass of the couch, eating less and getting in shape. How about spreading some love around? I have a friend who is gay. He is the funniest, decent and most considerate person I know, myself included. If my girlfriend dumps me, I am so marrying him. It will piss off everyone I know and they can debate it for hours on end. Whatever the reason, you are all invited. Hehehe…
  • People who invite me out for coffee: When did you become so self-centered? These are people who know for a fact that I cannot and will not drink coffee. I seriously don't get the whole coffee fad – literally or figuratively. I guess you have to be a coffee drinker to be able to do that. Much in the same way a sane person could never understand what it is like to be crazy, or vice versa. To my taste buds, coffee manifests itself as an abnormality. In any case, one does not actually taste coffee. I am told one can only smell(?) it. I don’t get how drinking coffee became such a social symbol or how ppl savour and crave the taste of it. "Let's meet for coffee or "I am a complete wreck until I have my first cup of coffee”. Whoop-de-doo... good cheer in a cup of hot water flavoured by a South American bean. Why not just ask me to meet you for meaningless sex? I am a helluva lot more likely to accept and at least then I know what I’m being used for. It will be a lot of fun too and you won’t have to pay. Has anyone checked the price of a cup of coffee lately... with or without the dollop of whipped cream and complimentary chocolate sprinkles? We complain about the price of petrol being more than six bucks a liter, yet will happily pay more than twice that for a 250ml cup of coffee. Do the math! And then we say the oil producing countries are profiteering at our despair. How about those rich plantation owners instead? Coffee screams "Rip off" I realise that I have just pissed off a whole horde of Starbucks/Mug'n Bean fans, but I don’t care. So there… bite me!
Ok… I’m done. As you were soldiers!

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