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Wednesday, March 16, 2005 

Clear the Cobwebs

I have been invited to attend a party on Friday night. There is a long weekend ahead which culminates in Human Rights Day on Monday, 21st March. I guess that is a good enough reason for most people to party it up and kick the weekend off with a celebration… and who am I to deny them that privilege. Now, I love a good party as much as the next person… I love the opportunities a good party presents to a guy like me… an opportunity to meet people, socialize, behave scandalously, make a complete and utter fool of myself with women and still be vain enough to pretend that others see me as a relatively cool guy. Yep cheap thrills and not-so-cheap frills… that is what I live for. The last party I was at was NOT exactly memorable and for the first time in quite a while I am not keen on going. People drank, laughed, had meaningless conversations, hooked up and sneaked off to have sleazy sex, stumbled, puked and made asses of themselves… you know… all the ingedients that make up a good party. The dj played deafening house and rap music. People throwing their hands up in the air and waving them like they just don’t care. Shouting “Oh yeah” at the top of their lungs, even though no self respecting young person living in the 21st century would be caught dead doing that. I guess someone should actually wake them up to the fact… but I’ll leave the pleasure of doing so up to someone who actually cares. People desperately trying to impress others, clinging to an identity, portraying an image that at best can only be described as pathetic. Drones… desperately trying to be different, yet alike in so many ways. And all of this left me cold and wondering what was doing there. I tried to drown my self in a sea of alcohol and meaningless encounters, allowing my passions to lead me on. I remember thinking that I am selling my soul to the devil for my own hedonistic purposes when I should be using it as collateral or leverage to "finance" personal gain or at least auction it off to the highest bidder. Life sucks when you try and make too much sense of it all. I think I will crawl back into my cozy little cocoon, and hibernate for a while. Come Friday night… despite my sobering thoughts at the last party, I will probably be there to join the “wave it like you just don’t care” crowd. I will live my life of contradictions for a little while longer. Don’t think that a butterfly will fly forth from this cocoon anytime soon.


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