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Thursday, March 17, 2005 

Navigate the ether

I finally managed to see Constantine and have to admit that I found it entertaining, despite what the critics have to say. It puts an interesting spin on the whole concept of “good vs evil” and the battle for the souls of mankind. Movies of this genre appeal to me... it appeals to my fantasies, it resonates in the recesses my brain, speaks to my darker side,the side I keep hidden. Isn’t interesting that how one entity can only exist in the presence of an opposite and equal entity? There can be no good if there is no evil and vice versa… and the one can best be described in terms of its opposite. Light and dark, heaven and hell, man and woman, cruelty and kindness… they all exist because of the stark contrast between them. Each contained within its own boundaries… sometimes distinct and physical but more often they are variable, linked to our own conscience and the moral and social norms of the society we live in. Yet it is clear, without the one the other would simply be… but would it exist? As in the movie… there is seemingly an area of overlap, a grey area where the boundaries are blurred, a place where bits of the one intermingles with bits of the other in the same way as light and dark co-exists briefly at sunrise and again at sunset. Constantine’s character exists in that common yet separate plain between good and evil, light and dark, heaven and hell. Sometimes I feel as if I live there too. My life is a pairing of opposites. They are the source of my weaknesses and also my greatest strengths. I would even go as far as saying that I am a living contradiction. I am both man and child. I can be good and bad… flippant and serious… happy and sad. Sometimes I do nothing but bum around all day long and other times I want to take on the world and turn it upside down. I want to talk about politics, history, philosophy, sociology and my heart bleeds for all that is wrong in this world. I hate everything and like it at the same time. I want what I cannot have, yet what I do have, gives me no pleasure. I am a whore ravaged by my own emotions. I exist because of the many sides to my being… it gives me dimension, depth, it makes me interesting… it gives me the ability to charm, entertain and mesmerize those around me, and at the same time piss people off, make them angry, make them hate me. Those that know me will tell you I am a thinker. I have often been accused of thinking too much, of over-analyzing trivialities. My mom used to say I am like a dog chasing its own tail. Perhaps she is right… but then I can only say I am in good company… wouldn’t you agree?


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