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Thursday, July 21, 2005 

The joys of parenthood

This is a rant. I haven’t had one of these in a while now. My apologies in advance to any parents or would-be parents, but some things should not be left unsaid. I went to Pick ‘n Pay (Pick ‘n Pay is our equivalent to Wal-Mart) yesterday to buy some much needed food items. The cupboards are looking bare and with the rugby this weekend, I am sure to get a lot of visitors. Hopefully we’ll kick some Aussie ass! Go Bokke!! Since I was there, I decided to cruise down the toy aisle. And NO, I am not buying toys for myself. In any case, they don’t keep the ones I’d like to have… hehehe. My sister’s youngest son has a birthday a few weeks from no, and I thought I’d get him something nice. I digress. As I turn into the toy aisle, there a women and her son about halfway down the aisle. It is obvious that the boy wants something, and the mother refuses to buy it for him. I guess it is her prerogative and really none my business. Parents know what’s best for their kids… or so I would hope. But here's the twist. The little brat throws himself on the floor, and lets loose with I can only describe as the highest pitched wail I have heard in my entire adult life. Mariah Carey… eat your bloody heart out! You have n-o-t-h-i-n-g on this kid... n-o-t-h-i-n-g! It is a heart stopper and it cuts through every fibre in my body. Every single person in that entire hyper stopped dead in their tracks. Next, he throws himself on the floor and starts kicking and stomping like there's no tomorrow. He’s like a friggin’ baby Godzilla. Any moment now I expect the roof to come crashing down or that he will trash all the toys on the shelves. Now I don't mind children crying. Heaven knows I was anything but an exemplary kid growing up, but to throw a tantrum of this magnitude in a public place, annoys the living shit out of me. No child has the right to expect to be spoilt, and to go ballistic when he doesn’t get what he wants. And no parent should allow their kids to behave like this in public. Mommy dearest, in the meantime, cannot be bothered to pay attention to the would-be serial toy killer. She looks at him with tired eyes and says in a monotone, "Mark, stop it, I don't care what you want. I am not buying it" (I'm thinking: Whoo-fucking-pee! Is that the best you’ve got woman? Now lets try it with a little more authority.) The child wails even louder. With all the kicking and stomping, he spins around in a little mini circle. It would be hilarious, if I wasn’t so stumped by what’s happening. “Stop it, Mark. I’ve already told you. I don’t care… you are not getting that toy” (Come on, mommy, gimme more! At this point in time I would settle for fire coming out of your mouth.) The child’s wailing pitches once again (definately a rock star in the making). I swear the Barbie dolls went ashen in their little boxes. "But I WANT IT and YOU are going to BUY it for ME! “Stop it, I don't care” (monotone). (Is that your final answer. May suggest you phone a friend... in child welfare?) She acts like he’s done nothing wrong. The brat screams, “But I want it. I want it now! MOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!" Snot and tears everywhere. This woman’s idea of parenting is fundamentally wrong. In fact she is a terrible parent and I hate her! She has absolutely NO CONTROL over her child. She should not be allowed to have children… ever. The child has no respect for her or any form of authority. He will undoubtedly grow up to be a menace to society. I can see time spent in Juvie Hall , and lots of it. And the mother does not give a shit. I know hitting a child is prolly the biggest social gaffe a parent can commit these days. They are taught to reason, outwit and to engage in dialogue. In this case however, my advice would simply be,

No really, I mean it. Some ppl may want to crucify me for saying this, but I would smack (within reason of course) the fucking kid. That is all one can do in this case. This child is out of control. The parent is the queen of Planet Moron. She has already failed the child in every aspect of parenting. Smacking would a liberating experience for him. It is obvious that nothing else seems to have worked. It may even shut him up or encourage him to turn down the amplifier. I left… I needed to be anywhere else but in that aisle with the child and his mother. I plan on having a few of my own one day. It's at times like these I become incredibly religious.
God, please strike me down and make me infertile if there is the slightest possibility that I may turn out to be half as bad a parent as this woman is?

Now you have royally pissed me off. Who are you to judge that mothers parenting skills? And just because a child throws a tantrum, doesn’t not mean he will spend time in Juvie. Do some research, children are very self-centered, we are ALL born that way. This child may not fully understand appropriate ways to act in public, which comes with maturity. The child was acting according to their age. The mother did the right thing by not giving in and calmly telling the child "no." she taught her child a lesson by not letting him have what he wants and by not condoning the behavior. Also, how dare you say that she should have hit her child! How a parent disciples their child is up to them, not you! A young child who doesn’t know any better and can not defend themselves, has no need to be hit in any way! What you said was completely rude and absolutely appalling. If you ever have children, and I highly suggest you don't if you can't handle a mild tantrum, you will see how hard it is to be a parent and how extremely difficult it is to tell your child "no" but doing it for there own good and being a good example. I almost guaranty you threw some tantrums very similar when you were that child’s age. I was doing research when I came across your blog. You should think about what you say before posting it publicly! How dare you judge that mother and parents in general!!

I disagree with you. Parenting is more than being calm and responding as she did in the store. My son did this and I picked him up, and took him home. I stopped what I was doing and left. Neither of us got anything. And you know what, I talked to my son, told him what was what - and that I would NEVER allow him to act that way in public again... and guess what, it WORKED! I didn't just let it go. I faced it with fact. I told him it was wrong, that I won't allow it, and that there were going to be consequences. THAT is life. We may "all" be born self-centered, but it doesn't have to be left that way. A good parent talks to their kids and teaches them life lessons. In the story, the mother just did what she wanted - THAT was self-centered. You suffer being a parent. You give and you take... but you do what's right. She didn't. And I think that most parents today are bad parents. A child's actions should not be left go. Parents need to act.

And by the way, people are allowed to judge all they want. There is nothing you can say about it. They will continue to do so regardless.

(As a person who has seen crap like this in tons of stores, it's wrong and the parent should have the decency to take the child out of the store so that it doesn't disrupt everyone else. She was BEYOND rude.)

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