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Friday, July 01, 2005 

Stupid came to visit

It is the winter school holidays and on his insistence, my nephew is staying with me for a few days. I bet he thinks he can meet girls and indulge in multiple acts of teenage debauchery while he is living with me. Comes with the territory, I guess, the price one pays for wanting to be the cool uncle. What he does not know is that I’ve been there and done most of what he has in mind. There is no way he’s running any scams behind my back. I know what he’s thinking long before he has the time to come to grips with the details of how to execute his plans. That aside, I do not intend the lock him away in a padded cell. Boys will be boys and the only way to learn is through experience. And if he is anything like me… well then he is in for one helluva rough ride. There are some things I've done that I wish I could erase from my memory forever. While I was in the shower last night, I noticed that the bar of soap I had left there for him in the morning had not been used. It tells me that either his body has not seen soap and water in a while or that perhaps he may have a condition that I don’t know of. ME: "Hey man, did you use the shower this morning?" HE: "Yeah, I did” ME: "Well I noticed that you did not use the soap I left there for you” HE: "Oh yeah… That’s right" ME: "Uh, so how do you wash your body?" HE (cocky): "With the greatest of care and lots of warm water" ME (not impressed): "What I meant is what do you use to clean yourself with” HE (matter of fact): "I used the shampoo” ME (thinking WTF): “Are you shitting me! My shampoo? Are you crazy?” HE (Casually) “Ahem… I couldn’t find the soap so I used whatever else was nearby” ME: “But why the shampoo? Is that what you use at your mother’s house?” HE: “Nope, my mom will kill me. But the label on the shampoo bottle said it was ok to use on the body as well. I checked the shower cubicle later on. I saw he had used the BODY ON TAP shampoo. Now either he is incredibly stupid or he is having me on. Or perhaps, he took the brand name literally and assumed that body part meant it could be used on the body. Come to think of it… it does seem like there's an extra bounce in his step… hehe Teenage boys… what a treat it must be to be so blissfully ignorant and easy going. There is nothing the world can you throw at you, that you cannot overcome or side-step. Oh, and I am hiding my shampoo away from now on! Just in case…

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