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Tuesday, July 05, 2005 

Where's me tinfoil hat?

When the woman in your life uses the phrase, “You Know, Oprah says…” in a conversation, you know you are heading for shit… big time! And true to my nature and instead of nodding silently and say something like… “What’s that dear?” I'm all bloody defensive and say something like, “Whoa, hold on there love, what do you mean Oprah says? How does Oprah know what is good for us in our relationship?” Yeah, when will I ever learn!? Ok, I admit my reaction to Oprah is prolly typical of many men around the world. One of extreme prejudice and skepticism. Can you blame us? The woman single-handedly turned wives and girlfriends into relationship junkies who would do whatever Oprah and her many experts tell them to do. No questions asked. Bow down to the television guru and kiss her feet. Would I trust a woman who believes that she may be of Zulu heritage? Someone had better tell her that the Zulus live in southern Africa and not West Africa where the majority, if not all, so called African Americans hail from. Chances are that is where her ancestors are from as well. Anyway, I am convinced that there is more to the Oprah Winfrey show than meets the eye. Or is it perhaps gender related? I am a guy and therefore I cannot see nor understand the obsession women have with Oprah. I admit; Oprah is good talk show host and tonnes better than Ricki Lake/Jerry Springer and silly little man from The Kumars at no 42 . But would I hang on to every word she says? Would I spice up my conversations with friends and family with Oprah-isms? Would I view the world and others through “Oprah-glasses?” HELL NO!!! You cannot pay me enough money to be that gullible. Take a good look at the women in Oprah’s audience. They whip themselves into some kind of a religious frenzy. Wide and starry eyed, made up and dressed the way Oprah told them to. Where are the normal people? Can anyone other than me see the connection to the Stepford Wives? Normal housewives display the kind of orgiastic revelry which once marked the classical cults of the old world. How does Oprah get away with doing this? Are mind altering drugs involved? Are there subliminal messages in the music or opening credits? Does it involve sensory deprivation? Is it all the free gifts? Or does Oprah herself whip each member of the audience into shape as they enter the studio? How does she command such devotion? I have no fucking idea. Perhaps when you are bored, unemployed with a husband who couldn’t care less whether you live or die, Oprah’s brand of “evangelism” takes on a significance of mystical and cult-like proportions. Her prescriptions and mantras for better living are followed without question or prejudice. Millions glued to the square box day after day at the appointed hour. To me she is nothing has become a demon, one who instead of making my life easier complicates it with her notions and advice. Women do not need advice from other women on how to make men jump through hoops and keep us in limbo; they are genetically programmed to do that from birth. In all fairness she does a lot of good work and there is merit to what she “preaches”, but I do not want to live my life going from one Oprah-ism to the next. There’d be no point to it… I may just as well resign myself to becoming the poster boy for whatever she prescribes. Enough with “The Oprah”! I’m off to Durbz for a few days… a work related emergency. Wish I could say it was for the curry, the cane spirit and the warmer weather an’all. I hate it when this happens. Some mellonhead manages to screw things up and you have to travel across the country to sort out their mess. Guess that is what I get paid to do, but it does not make it any more pleasant. Hopefully, I‘ll make it back before the weekend. If not… well this will the last post for now from the muddled depths of my brain.

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