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Friday, August 18, 2006 

Wrong number

Boredom is an ugly thing. Couple it with opportunity and you could have what is potentially an explosive (or unsettling) situation. About half an hour ago I received an sms on my cellphone. (I assume it was from a girl) It was clearly sent to my phone by mistake, because I did not recognise the number it was sent from. Naturally, and true to my nature, I replied. sms: Where R u? I’ve been waiting 4 over half an hour. me: I am at the airport. sms: What r u doing t the airport? me: I am skipping the country. sms: Wot! What r u doing that for? me: We were busted last night for cocaine possession. sms: OMG! U can’t be serious! R u? me: Yeah, James and Sean got arrested. I was lucky 2 get away. sms: Who are James and Sean? me: My partners sms: R the police looking for u? me: They are. I have to get away. sms: Where will u go me: Can’t say. Don’t want to get u involved. Gotta go. Not safe to sms u. sms: This is unreal. How can u do this? me: Gotta go. Still have to say g-bye to my bf sms: WTF. U have a bf? How did this happen? I don’t know u NE-more. me: Sorry, meant 2 tell u. Gotta go. Boarding plane now. sms: Wait! me: Can’t. Said 2 much already. Love u lots. Will call when I get 2 my destination (I switch my phone off) This was getting way too hairy, even for me. I don’t think I’ll have any good Karma left after this. The guy, whoever he is, has a lot of explaining to do… courtesy of me and my evil mind. Hopefully, my anonymous text buddy would have realised her mistake by the time she runs into the person she was supposed to have sms’d. Sms the wrong phone once more, you idiot! I am definitely NOT a good person.

*wipes tears*
oh man, that's just beautiful. i got an accidental one a few hours ago - and now i feel like i wasted a perfect opportunity :S i feel like such a goody-two shoes! hell, i just said "goody-two shoes"!

Chitty YOU are a sick ticket!

I laughed so hard I cried, honest. My brother got a big laugh too! Tell us if that poor person gives you a special "payback."

The Tart
; *

TW: Goody-two shoes… I doubt you’ve been called that in a very long time. Next anonymous sms you get… make it count.
Tart: I doubt she will ever get in touch with me again. She’s prolly thinks that she stumbled onto something really BIG.
I bet she’s telling all her friends (and will be for years to come) about the cocaine dealer she accidentally sms’d. Win win all around!

You are terrible! Guess how I am going to reply to these in future. :-)

Chitty you're evil, the poor girl! Boredom is fantastic for creativity though!

thank you.... i love laughing on a monday... you made my week :-)


Katt: Don't scamming someone just beat everything? Wrong numbers are annoying and the person doing it should be punished for wasting your time... he he.
Curly K: So it is... I bet ome of the most creative schemes were thought up by people who had nothing better to do.
Dai: Happy to be of service. Thanks for stopping by.
Dorothy: Thanks.

Chitty, I've said this before I'm sure - you're my idol!!!

Oh, you are wicked. But kind of charming. Still, don't you wonder who the person was who texted you, and who she was really calling?

Terri: Thans Terri. I'm not sure I should be idolised, but I try.
jarvenpa: I did at fist, but I thnk it is better I don't know. I doubt she'll thank me.


I just read Peas post for today and imagined the two of you getting crossed SMS lines:


Friday, September 01, 2006
SMS of self-prostitution and self-career-crucification

Oh my God.

But before I start: Happy happy mia piccola pomodora The Ant! The delightful woman is 26 today. Here’s to a fantastic day and jolly good celebrations my darling flatmate.
OK. This had me rolling on the floor for half an hour:

SMS: Hello Peas, remember life is a book, read it; love is a blessing, live it; life is a journey, be it. Love from Dee.
Indian international code. Must be from Doc. Since when does he call himself Dee? Maybe he’s smoking Vindaloo Green.
Peas: Dee? Doc?
SMS: No, remember me Deepak? I was at the Indian stand, you ate my curry and bought my poppadums.
Now I knew he’d really been smoking green, I thought ‘Ha ha Doc, you’re so funny you little prankster you.’ Fine. So I played along.
Bwahahahaha, did I have sex with you? And was it good?

There was a kind of silence.

SMS: I don’t understand. I might have the wrong number. Is this Peas?
Doc wouldn’t write that. I paused. And realised with horror, after all the pieces fell into place. This man. Deepak. He. Is. A. Work. Client. I met him at that gastronomic trade show I had to attend a month ago. I had given one of these Delhi residents my business card for a feature I was to write on Indian cuisine. This man was not Doc. Oh my GOD. Oh my bloody Hell and fuck.

Peas: No. This isn’t Peas. I think you have wrong number. Sorry.
SMS: I’m sorry. I thought you were Peas O‘Toast from [food & bev publication], I must have wrong number. Sorry to trouble you, Deepak.

Oh sweet Jesus. All he has to do is look at my business card again, this time under a scrutinous eye, and realise he had, indeed, contacted the right number. It was the formerly very-presentable, sophisticated, business-like and professional deputy editor herself.

I found this monolithically hilarious. Such an astoundingly act of naivety such as I have ever experienced.

PS: Went out and got smashed. It was the plan. C and I dressed up like slutty school girls (my favourite) and we made merry at a hockey club's drinks bash. We seemed to win endless bottles of Brutal Fruit, because everytime we turned around, a free one was given to us. Ever-willing, we smashed them in our faces. First day of Spring feels a little rough. Mating season is upon us.
posted by Peas on Toast @ 11:15 PM

I love it!
I Love it!
I Love it!

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