Riding the Slipstream

It has been a year since ChittyChittyBangBang (not the car!) first appeared on the blog scene and commenced with riding The Slipstream. 208 posts later, and he is still nowhere close to being any good at it. He started out rather tentatively (and lamely?) when he announced to the world on 22 February 2005, that he had just bought his first Apple iPod. Ground-breaking news that had his tally of zero visitors gasping for breath… or perhaps NOT. More likely that it was a collective YAWN. Yep, our man was not off to a smooth start and it seemed he may have encountered some turbulence early on. He followed this up with more loose snippets and finally on 25 February 2005, posted something worth reading, mourning the death of a childhood friend. He also raved about stupidity, which as it later transpired, is something he is seemingly quite familiar with. March was rather uneventful, but he managed to discover Flickr and added Haloscan comments to his blog site. Is our boy ambitious or what? Yeah, he actually anticipated that someone may one day want to leave a comment on his blog. And so they did. The very first comments he received was from a young Filipino girl and… the inimitable Michelle, in a post that showed us just how proud he is to be a South African. It also become abundantly clear that he does not like people talking to him in supermarket queues, preferring to sip vodka Martinis instead. In April, feeling much like the autumn weather in his native country, we saw his humanitarian side emerging as he shared with us the compassion he has for his fellow man and his apparent has gift for embarrassing himself in public. Yeah, some people will do anything to get a little attention. And to prove to us that he seemingly keeps up with current events, he blogged about the Da Vinci code and his respect for an insignificant man by the name of Tony Robins. May saw Chitty going into overdrive with a post on the one and only, Oprah. We also discovered that he is a compulsive liar, and deeply religious. He has an irrational childhood fear of dead people, likes to flirt and has a calm, yet steadfast demeanour in the workplace. We got to meet his nephew, Keenan, in the first of many posts. At this stage, I only have two words for you… child welfare. In June, he blogged the love has for cold weather, the office bimbo and he pondered the link that may exist between masturbation and bad eyesight. Uh yeah… riveting stuff. Our man also got tagged for the very first time, and he told us a few about himself that would have been better left unsaid. July was a bit of a mixed bag with further posts about the nephew (again), another irrational childhood fear of escalators and lifts, and the joys of parenthood. We also got to know that Chitty actually has a girlfriend, yeah women actually like the guy, and that he does have a backbone. In August, we learnt that he can keep a secret, even when under immense pressure from UK and Ireland. We learnt that he may have been a merman in a former life and that he is under the impression that he can walk through glass. We also discovered that he is into theme parties and that he is thrilled to be a man. Chitty also has a hidden talent; he could quit his day-job and become a gossip columnist. September, the month of his birth, saw him battling with insomnia; contemplate his life and career, and breaking traffic rules. The guy is like ping-pong ball at a Chinese recreation centre… all over the place. He tried to give us a glimpse of his more manly side by flirting with a waitress, shooting paintball and chatting up airline stewardesses. Our man chitty is also an absolute whiz in the boardroom and has an overactive imagination. In October, he taught us all about the apparent art of burning bridges and how not to fix a household appliance. In a surprise post, we learnt that our man also has a heart of glass and he also blogged about his dependence on woman. Yep, he truly is a man’s man. Although I think he may have stepped through the looking glass when he disclosed 20 random things about himself. November saw him contemplating the plight of the homeless and in a yet unprecedented act of patriotism, he bled for his country. He was tagged once again and it also became clear that he has not quite mastered the art of speaking on the telephone. During December, we learnt that he hates shopping for gifts and that he may have unwittingly flirted with homosexuality. Yikes! January saw him terrorising a woman at his local supermarket and we got to meet another member of his family, his dad. For some unbeknownst reason our man actually feels that he should actually respond when his girlfriend talks to him and that he can be a surrogate father to his nephew. A compulsion, which I suspect, may yet lead to the downfall our clumsy hero! Yep, it has been quite a year for our friend, ChittyChittyBangBang. He mellowed out duing the course of the year and the anger and profanities that used to litter his earlier posts, have all but disappeared. Now, if only, we can get him to cut the crap and really start blogging.